I just returned from lunch with my boss, Rattanaporn. She is the Deputy Director of the Sarasas school system, basically a big shot around our part of Bangkok. She told me that I am “a girl very young and very far from home”. Because of this, she is going to watch out for me and make sure I am happy, healthy, and safe. The lunch can be broken down into three excruciating and yet somehow wildly entertaining subjects.

Subject One: Health. Rattanaporn insisted that I eat healthy and maintain a very slim figure, like herself. She even weighed me on a scale she keeps in her office. She informed me that I need to stay at my current weight, or perhaps lose a kilo. She will be weighing me periodically and will tell me what to eat if I gain (gasp!) any weight. She pinched my sides and muttered under her breath. I’ll have to starve to keep this crazy Asian woman happy!

Subject Two: Engagement. Rattanaporn smoothly transitioned from health into the subject of men upon finding out I was engaged. She immediately took it upon herself to become my “purity keeper”. Nate will be happy to find out that I will not be getting away with anything! In her opinion, it is of the utmost importance to behave like a proper engaged woman. I am not to been seen with men alone and I am never to be seen in a bathing suit, even at the beaches. The most skin I should ever show, in her opinion, is my arms and legs. Shorts and a sleeveless top is where I must draw the line.

Subject Three: Marriage. Ratanaporn then proceeded to tell me how to keep my husband happy, once I am married. Her recipe for a happy marriage is threefold: 1. I must dote on him every day. Kind words go a long way. 2. I must stay sexy. Taking care of myself (and not getting fat like other American women, she added with complete disgust) will keep my husband interested. She told me I need to exercise more and stay out of the sun (as freckles and wrinkles are a sure way to kill a marriage). 3. Cook excellent meals. A man will want to come home to you if you leave his stomach satisfied every night. I felt like I was in a time warp back to the 1950’s…

I don’t know what I did to warrant this attention…the lunch let me speechless. Can you imagine how inappropriate this lunch would be in the US? She certainly crossed what Americans consider to be the work-relationship boundary. Yet after returning from lunch, it became more clear. Rattanaporn is a beautiful, poised, and well respected woman in the Thai community. She has, for some reason, taken a special interest in me and desires to pass on her insider knowledge of Thai culture. My lunch with Rattanaporn, although she most definitely meant well, was shocking and I was reminded once again how different Thai culture is from our own.