I just returned from lunch with my boss, Rattanaporn. She is the Deputy Director of the Sarasas school system, basically a big shot around our part of Bangkok. She told me that I am “a girl very young and very far from home”. Because of this, she is going to watch out for me and make sure I am happy, healthy, and safe. The lunch can be broken down into three excruciating and yet somehow wildly entertaining subjects.

Subject One: Health. Rattanaporn insisted that I eat healthy and maintain a very slim figure, like herself. She even weighed me on a scale she keeps in her office. She informed me that I need to stay at my current weight, or perhaps lose a kilo. She will be weighing me periodically and will tell me what to eat if I gain (gasp!) any weight. She pinched my sides and muttered under her breath. I’ll have to starve to keep this crazy Asian woman happy!

Subject Two: Engagement. Rattanaporn smoothly transitioned from health into the subject of men upon finding out I was engaged. She immediately took it upon herself to become my “purity keeper”. Nate will be happy to find out that I will not be getting away with anything! In her opinion, it is of the utmost importance to behave like a proper engaged woman. I am not to been seen with men alone and I am never to be seen in a bathing suit, even at the beaches. The most skin I should ever show, in her opinion, is my arms and legs. Shorts and a sleeveless top is where I must draw the line.

Subject Three: Marriage. Ratanaporn then proceeded to tell me how to keep my husband happy, once I am married. Her recipe for a happy marriage is threefold: 1. I must dote on him every day. Kind words go a long way. 2. I must stay sexy. Taking care of myself (and not getting fat like other American women, she added with complete disgust) will keep my husband interested. She told me I need to exercise more and stay out of the sun (as freckles and wrinkles are a sure way to kill a marriage). 3. Cook excellent meals. A man will want to come home to you if you leave his stomach satisfied every night. I felt like I was in a time warp back to the 1950’s…

I don’t know what I did to warrant this attention…the lunch let me speechless. Can you imagine how inappropriate this lunch would be in the US? She certainly crossed what Americans consider to be the work-relationship boundary. Yet after returning from lunch, it became more clear. Rattanaporn is a beautiful, poised, and well respected woman in the Thai community. She has, for some reason, taken a special interest in me and desires to pass on her insider knowledge of Thai culture. My lunch with Rattanaporn, although she most definitely meant well, was shocking and I was reminded once again how different Thai culture is from our own.

Thai Nightlife

Last Saturday, Hayley and I went out in Bangkok for a rousing night on the town. After going to several clubs, we discovered one dreadful fact: the Thais do not dance! Oh the horror! We had to remedy this unfortunate discovery with a stiff drink and ended up in a gay bar for women. Once again, the Thais had a difficult time pronouncing Hayley’s name. The irony was all too apparent as I sat with “Henry” while a lady boy in a glorious wig crooned Thai love songs in our direction.

Settling In

One week down, one and a half more weeks to go -- that it, until fall break. My teaching job is both my source of joy and my source of frustration. I immensely enjoy teaching the younger grades, i.e. grades one and two. They are sweet, innocent, and polite. In addition, they seem to love me just because I am a young, female teacher who smiles. Teaching English to them is a challenge, however. They understand little and find pronunciation of English words difficult. On the other hand, grades four and seven understand more but have lost the sweet innocence I cherish. Perhaps my dislike of the higher grades is partly due to the subject matter: I have been substituting for a sick math teacher. At this point, I need more experience to determine where I truly belong in the teaching world.

My apartment is….for the lack of a better word, a crap hole. All surfaces are stained and old, complete with peeling wall paper and scuffed linoleum floors. Yet, after hours of scrubbing (which had no effect on the appearance but made me feel better about the cleanliness) it has become homey. I am hoping that I will actually grow to love the pathetic little place.

I finally have Internet in my apartment after hours of scouting out a “dongle”. A dongle is a device that connects a computer to the internet via satellite signal. I do not know which language dongle comes from; I have never heard the term and neither had the Thais’. My Dutch and Polish colleagues essentially sent me on a wild goose chase. Oh to live and work amongst foreigners!

A Bunch of Characters

With two days under my belt at my new teaching job, I feel pretty good about my new line of work. The kids are ridiculously cute, complimentary breakfast and lunch every day, and a new (hopefully!) group of friends. Last night Hayley and I went out with about 15 of my new co-workers to a swanky bar not far from the school. We drank, danced, and met some cool people. My colleagues are a melting pot of crazy folks: several Brits, three Irishmen, four Americans, one Canadian, three Aussies, six Philippinos, one Frenchmen, one Spaniard, etc. I call them crazy because that is what they are...they live and work as expats in Thailand. You have to be a little crazy (like myself) to subject yourself to the heat, grime, and cultural differences that Thailand guarantees.

We arrived at the bar at around 8:00 pm and the party was already in full swing. As the night went on, my colleagues got more and more loose lipped. Here are some of the things they told me/anecdotes from the night:

Kellen: Took his clothes off after one drink and danced with his belt. Does this sounds familiar?
Jamie: Told Hayley that he liked her but did not like me already. We have have spoken five sentences to each other. Way to give a girl a chance....
Rob #1: Recently fired for talking back to the administration.
Rob #2: Used to live on Patpong Street (a crazy area known for its transvestites, lady boys, prostitution, etc). He told me he would be willing to take me there and show me around; he even offered to pay for a transvestite to show me his/her newly operated on "parts". How nice of him...
David: I met his wife of five years. She is a beautiful (and I mean beautiful) Thai girl around the age of 28. She does not speak a word of English and David likes it that way...
Kellen: Recently fired for talking back to the administration.
Rob #3: Has been in Thailand for two weeks (also a newbie) and has not had any action. He thought this was complete and utter bullshit.
Tracy: Told me that I'll be able to get away with anything because of my looks. Also told me I was hired based purely on my looks. That made me feel competent...
Alex: Recently fired for talking back to the administration.


Although my colleagues were brutally honest, they were extremely nice, generous, and made sure we were okay. The next few months with them should be interesting.

Harsh Realities of Life in the Big City: Prostitution

Cecilia works with a Christian organization whose focus is helping prostitutes into different lines of work and better lives. Granted, some Thai prostitutes actually like their line of work and don't want help. The organization's focus is on those who have been trafficked into the profession or have no other way to support their families. Cecilia told us the story of one girl's path into prostitution. This girl had been raped by her teacher while in high school and became pregnant. The teacher took "responsibility" for his actions and married her. They eventually had two children together but the husband was verbally and physically abusive. Rather than live the rest of her life with an abusive husband, she chose to get divorced and work on the streets as a prostitute. She had no other work options as she had quit school at the age of 15 upon becoming pregnant. The organization took her off the streets, trained her in a new profession, and gave her a home. She now works for the organization and has a desire to help others in the same way she was helped.

Cecilia also told Hayley and I that many prostitutes have been sold by their families in Burma and Cambodia and forced to work the streets. I felt truly sick when I heard this. Although all of us have heard such stories, to be surrounded by it and watching men take advantage of the situation makes it all very real (we have walked down several "red light" areas and seen hoards of western men buying a night with a young girl). I would like to get involved in the organization on some level if time permits. I think this type of volunteer work may become Hayley's focus over the next 8 months.

On a lighter note: I got a job yesterday! I start on Thursday and I'll be teaching Biology and Math to 4th or 7th graders. Should be interesting!

Sweetie wants Henry to move to India

Although we had just arrived in Jomtien for a little holiday, Sweetie (my mother's Thai friend whom she had met while living in Thailand) had Hayley and I travel to Chonburi for some "work" yesterday. Upon our arrival, I was informed that I would be doing a radio spot for the local radio station. I was to read a script Sweetie had translated into English from Thai; a piece advertising the yearly Rising Water Buffalo Festival. Apparently, my American accent will attract more people to the event...

While I was editing the piece, Hayley and Sweetie discussed Hayley's desire to tutor rather than teach. Sweetie immediately decided that she should move to India as it has more opportunities for such work. When I joined the conversation, Sweetie told me: "Henry need to move to India. Thailand not good for her. India good for Henry". The rest of the day, Sweetie tried to convince Hayley to move to India. I could not help but laugh every time she called out, "Henry! In India....."

We took the local bus back to Jomtien, which as apparently an unheard of thing to do. The moment we stepped on, the bus driver loudly announced the arrival of "farangs" (aka, white people). Everyone on the extremely crowded bus turned to stare at us. We shuffled our way back through the packed hot bodies to the center of the bus to hold on. After a few minutes, an old man decided to use me as a chair...while I was standing. He slowly leaned his butt into me until he was sitting on my back. At the same time, I repeatedly hit a small woman in the face with my over sized, swinging purse. During all this, someone farted multiple times. Oh to live like a local!

Sunshine!

Hayley and I took a bus to Pattaya today, specifically Jomtien Beach. This sleepy little beach town two hours south of Bangkok is a great break from the hustle and bustle (and smog) of the big city. Being the complete idiot that I am, I forgot the address and phone number of the hostel but remembered vaguely where it was on the map. Hmmm... as it turns out, having a vague idea is not enough in this country. We wandered around in the heat for two hours, taking one mini truck after the next, trying to find our hostel. At one point, I hustled my way into a strip club to use the internet after bargaining with the strippers. 20 baht for five minutes on their computer, not too shabby! I am pretty sure Hayley was going to ring my neck. I don't blame her. After we arrived, we left our stuff to frolic in the ocean. It is amazing how a little cool water can turn the situation around.

Updates: I had a job interview on Wednesday with a Thai Public school. I "got the job" so to speak, although it does not technically start until November 1st. If I were to take it, I would supplement my salary until then by doing English camps and substituting. I will take the position only if I have no other options. The pay is lower than I expected and want....

I have another interview on Monday; this job pays more and I would have less students in my classroom. Sounds like a winner.

Side note: my skin is covered in bug bites. Damn you, sweet delicious blood!